i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
