So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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