Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
