im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
