Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
