This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
