I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
