So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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