Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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