Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
