I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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