I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
