We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Oh god it's open bar.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
