yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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