i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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