How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
