Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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