there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
