u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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