Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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