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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I feel like a drive thru vagina
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
