I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
