I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
