At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
