there were more penises there than on chat roulette
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
PANTIES FOUND
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
