what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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