I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
