The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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