I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
