haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
