I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
