I just saw a hot homeless man
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
