drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
