I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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