break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize