What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
