You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
