He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
