hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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