This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
