Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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