This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
