I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
