I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
