Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
