lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
