doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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