Your tits are I can't wait for
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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