It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
