garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
