Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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