I'm eating all of the evidence.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
