We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
