kristin has been a bad kristin
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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