Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
