Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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