i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
