I feel like I'm in dance class right now
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
